Dr. Phil aired an episode today about fathers who have an unhealthy interest in entering their 4-year-old daughters into beauty pageants.
This is what ran through my mind as the episode played. Let the healing begin!
- It's not like these Pageant Dads are flamboyant or anything. In fact, they look like typical suburban Tea Party organizers. Tea Party of the political type, not like the tea parties they probably throw with their stuffed animals.
- Hey, that one Dad's tiara is bigger than the other Dad's.
- One of the pageant Dads is wielding a glue gun. FIERCE!
- Um, one of the Dads painted "Here Comes the Queens" on the side of his SUV
- This episode of Dr. Phil is making me sad,
- I once got offered an interview for a job on Dr. Phil. When I told my mom I turned it down, she was furious with me for months.
- They keep cutting to these photos of the little girl's pageant headshot. If you stare into her icy-cold blue eyes long enough, it turns into a 3D picture.
- This show could be a casting session for the Pet Semetary remake.
- Now Dr. Phil is making the Dads compete to who can best dress a mannequin for a pageant. I bet you one of them tries to smuggle a mannquin back to their car
- The clown music that is playing during this contest is a good choice.
- Dr. Phil is timing this on his watch. So is this a contest to see which Dad is creepier? Or which Dad is more efficiently creepy?
- Yup, they're definitely going to try to smuggle the mannequins back home.
- Pageanting is stressful. You can put away two or three of those Costco-sized tubs of Red Vines if you're not careful.
- You know if these guys weren't Pageant Dads, they'd probably be Civil War re-enactors.
- Commercial Break: Do people actually eat at Sizzler on purpose? I was under the impression Sizzler is the place you're forced to eat when your tour bus pulls over for a rest stop.
- At least this little girl knows the Stranger Danger scream.
- This show should be subtitled "When Sparkly Lip Gloss Attacks".
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